Exceptional CareBy LuAnn Buechler

There is power in the words you choose to use, in describing yourself, your business, your expertise. Stop discounting yourself by telling people what you “don’t” do and tell them what you DO and how well you do it.

When you choose your words selectively, you place yourself in the process of examining what you really believe, how you really feel, what you really mean, what you really want, and how best to make your thoughts and desires understood. The first step to constructing a vocabulary that supports this empowering mode of living is to identify and eradicate the words that cause problems, simultaneously replacing them with language that is strong, clear and powerful.

There are a lot of different ways we let ourselves confuse and over-complicate our messages when we communicate. The (k)not is at the epicenter. It turns your message backward and inside out, inverts what you’re saying so that your brain has the added task of translating the words to make the sentence revert to its original meaning. More commonly, the brain simply ignores or fails to register the (k)not.

Take, for example, the last time someone said to you, “I’m not hungry.” Did you continue to offer them food, perhaps just a snack or something to drink? That’s because your brain heard and understood the words “I’m hungry,” which equates to the need or desire to eat. It takes a lot to convince someone to stop offering food once they’ve heard a guest or friend say something about hunger. However, the phrase, “I’m full” and especially “I’m really full” will generally stop the flow of food offers before they even start.

The point is using k”not”ty words ties our messages up in knots. Which is the basis of a philosophy called “Remember the Ice and other Paradigm Shifts” developed by my friend and co-author Bob Nicoll. Bob encourages us to eliminate the word “not” and the hit list six of other words that include the word not; can’t, don’t, won’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t. Plus the almighty should, which only places blame on you or me, depending on how it is used in a sentence. Think about it, what are these words called in the English language? They are called contractions.

How do we feel in our body when we are contracted? Negative, conflicted and withdrawn, right? So why would we want to speak in contractions in any message that we are trying to convey.

Remember to speak only in the positive in anything you do. You can start by eliminating the K”not”ty words in your language.

LuAnn Buechler, Author of ihug: My Journey as a Hugger and Co-Author of Exceptional Care for Your Valued Clients, www.LuAnnB.com